Our Stephen Ministers
Stephen Ministers are trained as God’s representatives to bring love to those who are hurting.
Stephen Ministers are companions who offer one-to-one care to people in the congregation experiencing life difficulties. Each Stephen Minister has received extensive training and they are looking forward to beginning their ministry to members of our congregation. They will be matched with a member for a period of time and all aspects of this ministry is completely confidential, even the name of the person they are walking alongside. They are committed to being holy listeners, helping to process feelings and offering the love of Christ. Stephen Ministers typically meet with their care receiver in person for about an hour a week. They may care for people who are experiencing grief or loss, a medical crisis, a family crisis or a faith crisis of any kind.
Over the next several weeks, we will be introducing our Stephen Ministers and sharing a bit about why they decided to offer themselves to serve our St. Barnabas community in this capacity. If you are interested in learning more about Stephen Ministry, please reach out to our Stephen Ministry Leaders: Pastor Deb Fergus or Kirk Murray, our MCL for Inreach.
Meet Julia Leary
I have been a member of St. Barnabas Episcopal Church from 1995 to 2011 and then returning to St. Barnabas in 2019. I would like to share about my journey in becoming a Stephen Minister and what led me to accept this offer from God.
I recently retired from my work as a psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner (PMHNP) at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. I have been a registered nurse for 43 years, and worked in the healthcare field, in a variety of inpatient, outpatient and academic settings, including schools, both public and private. While my career as an RN began in 1982, I have continued to expand and grow professionally, all my life. I obtained a Masters in Adult Oncology Nursing (cancer nursing) as a Clinical Nurse Specialist, certification as a Licensed School Nurse and post-masters as a PMHNP. At one time, I went to law school at the University of Cincinnati for a semester and 3 weeks. It was a cold day in January when I took a walk in my snowy neighborhood and heard my heart say that the field of law was not for me and I stopped my classes, lost with where to go next, professionally. That’s when I took a long look and began the journey of my eventual work in the field of psychiatry, and prescribing medication and providing therapy for psychiatric and mental health needs. It proved to be the most rewarding work I have ever done.
Last year, before I was thinking about retiring, it was announced that St. Barnabas was starting a Stephen Ministry program, and I decided to attend the information session. As I listened to a video in that presentation, something about the presenters struck me. They had a sense of purpose and centeredness that I have not often seen. The care of a Stephen Minister is based on spiritual and emotional care for the other. While spiritual assessment and care are a part of the nursing process, it is not the primary focus of care like physical, psychological or emotional care. I heard God’s call in that presentation. And, like the snowy walk in January when I KNEW being a lawyer was not for me, I knew without doubt that I needed to sign up for Stephen Minister training. God was calling me to growth in my own life and in so doing, providing the means for me to be a vessel for healing in others in a way I had not previously experienced.
I look forward to sharing Christ’s healing love with anyone who is struggling and to the meaningful relationships developed as we walk together, with Christ.
Meet Ceilia Stanley
Not long ago, Rev. Jane introduced our reflection group to the Way of Love—a Jesus-centered life practice initiated by our former Presiding Bishop, Michael Curry. This spiritual framework invites us to shape our lives by following the path of Jesus, summarized in seven guiding practices: Turn, Learn, Pray, Worship, Bless, Go, and Rest.
As Christians, we are all called to be disciples of Jesus—called to seek the Kingdom of God here on Earth, to find companions to whom we can be the light of Christ, to serve as the salt of the earth, and to rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.
Stephen Ministry, I believe, embodies this Way of Love. It offers a meaningful way to journey alongside others in need—to share their burdens and, together, live out these practices: to turn toward God, learn from Jesus, pray for strength, worship in faith, bless others with compassion through their presence and non-judgemental listening, go forth in service, and rest in God’s grace.
It is a true blessing to be called into Stephen Ministry—to walk alongside you in your moments of burden, just as you have walked with me and my family in our times of need, always turning together toward the light of God’s love and peace.
Meet Kathy Stockman
While getting ready for work one morning, my adult daughter texted me to ask me a question. She’d been sick with a cold for a few days. She didn’t really feel bad, no fever, just tired from coughing and wondered if she should stay home from work again. She missed a couple of days the week before for food poisoning and wondered what to do now. She either wanted my permission to stay home, or my advice on how to feel well enough to go to work. Since she had no fever and had not tested positive for Covid, I suggested she just take a 12- or 24-hour cold medicine to help relieve the congestion so she can feel well enough to go to work. She texted, “Thanks Mom, I love you.” “I love you too and hope you feel better.” Heart emojis to seal it. I felt proud our adult children still look to me for help and grateful I can give it to them. I was able to quickly and easily fix things and make it all better. I finished my breakfast and headed off to work.
Without any major crises, my parenting of our children has been easy so far. With my husband Mark, I am blessed we usually have the resources and ability to quickly heal or solve their problems. Though being a Stephen Minister welcomes me to another kind of caring relationship. One where I am not called to fix a problem, but to create a space of faith in God’s love to heal. This is a space of listening with no judgment, of compassion and empathy. Not to heal, but to sit with someone in their suffering. It requires an exquisite patience. This is probably the greatest challenge for me. It is also the greatest gift of being a Stephen Minister. It is this grace that centers God’s healing love in the relationship. By not trying to fix or heal, I resist taking the lead in the healing. Doing so allows us both to experience God’s love together. Saying yes to Stephen Ministry is saying yes to the work of God’s love.
After answering my daughter’s question that morning, I taught middle school students about empathy in healthy relationships. Many of them knew the importance of walking in someone else’s shoes to try to understand their pain or sadness. Though empathy is also a willingness to sit with another person in their pain or sadness. Stephen Ministry training has taught me to trust in God’s love to do the work of healing and to let that love work through me. I am reminded of another mom who said yes to God’s love. I pray that as a Stephen Minister for the grace to be Mary for others.
Meet Joe Carolin
I was born in Detroit in 1944 into a large, loving, Catholic family. There were 7 of us and I was the middle child. We lived in a small town on Lake St. Clair, 50 miles north of Detroit. In our town there was a Catholic school and a public school. I assumed everyone was either “Catholic” or “Public”. During those days, labeling people was the norm, either by race, ethnicity, social status or wealth. Fortunately, my parents both came from mixed-religion households. They were more tolerant than many people.
In the mid 50’s we moved back to the Detroit area. It was a time of prosperity and growth for many. For me, it was a paradise. Safe streets and neighborhood baseball, football or basketball games were the norm. My world was 5 square miles of cutting lawns, delivering papers, walking to the Dairy Queen and movies on Saturday at the local theatre. High school was at an all-boys Catholic high school in Detroit’s inner-city. It was a great experience with boys from every walk of life. The priests were tough but fair. They made enough of an impression on me, that after high school I entered the seminary to become a priest. The order was the Oblates of St. Francis DeSales. It was a teaching order based out of Wilmington, Delaware. But, 1 year of seminary was enough for me.
The 60’s were filled with 3 years in the Army, (1 year in Vietnam with the 1st Cavalry) and College at Laurence Technology University. The next 40 years were filled with work, marriage and raising 2 boys. Coaching hockey, family gatherings at every holiday, and trips “up north”.
Life was great until 2007, when my wife of 37 years came down with cancer. I retired to take care of her. Religion was always a part of our life, yet this is when deep praying became a constant in our lives. It did not end the way we wanted but the 5 years of suffering did when she passed. After that my life was adrift for a while, until a good-looking blond threw me a lifeline.
Deb and I were married 3 years later. She taught me a new way of praying by putting Jesus in our daily lives and sharing my faith with others. When the chance to participate in Stevens Ministry came to St. Barnabas, I saw it as a great opportunity to bring my life experiences and God’s healing power together to focus on helping others who were going through a difficult time of their own. - Joe Carolin
Meet Bruce Bollman
“Christ Caring for People Through People” is Stephen Ministry’s foundation. We are called into a relationship with one-another that models Christ’s with us.
As I contemplated retirement, I was reminded of another Church I attended and their Stephen Ministry program which I did not join, back then. When Deb Fergus spoke about St. Barnabas embracing Stephen Ministry, I responded.
Martin Buber reminds us, “When we walk our way and someone comes towards us, we know our way only, ... for theirs comes to life, for us, only in the encounter.” Buber believed our relationship with others should rest on and point-to our relationship with God.
I look forward to ministry with those who need a little extra care during hardship, loss, or struggle. So that, we can walk together and encounter each other (and, Christ).
I am grateful to St. Barnabas for this opportunity. And, I look forward to meaningful relationships with others who are hurting. — Bruce Bollman